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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 9, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EST

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and we'll see you back here tomorrow. have a great night. up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- kirstie alley. >> we can't have sex. i don't want to be a whore. >> dave salmoni. >> do they bite? >> no -- little bit. >> whoa! >> that's how people get eaten. that's what happened to either siegfried or roy, whichever one. >> and music from tyler bryant and the shakedown. an all-new "jimmy kimmel live,"
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>> jimmy: well, hello, everyone, i'm jimmy kimmel. we have a really great show for you tonight. >> jimmy, we need to talk. >> jimmy: now? is it an emergency? >> it's a manmergency, come here guys. >> what is that? is this some kind of intervention? >> no. it's a mantervention. >> jimmy: a mantervention? >> yes. you've not been acting very dude-like lately. >> jimmy: very dude-like? i don't think that's true. >> oh yeah? i found this in your locker. >> jimmy: that's my scrapbook. and that's my lunch. >> you eat baby food for lunch? >> jimmy: yes. to keep me fit and smooth as a baby. >> you have a problem, jimmy. >> jimmy: i disagree.
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i don't think i have a problem at all. >> here, eat this slim jim. it will bring back your dude-ness. >> that's right. >> jimmy: all right. i'll give it a try. why, guillermo, you're right. i feel more dude-ish already. thank you. >> this xbox will also help. each slim jim comes with a code for in-game content for the latest ea games to maximum your dude-ness. >> jimmy: you knocked my slim jim on the floor! >> oh. >> jimmy: bad, guillermo. >> ah! >> jimmy: well, i don't know how to thank you guys. this is so kind of you to do. >> you made some real progress. bring it in guys. come on. >> jimmy: oh, well, that's -- now this feels like we're headed in the wrong direction, doesn't it? >> dicky: grab a slim jim. enter the code and get "in-game content" for "need for speed most wanted" and "medal of honor war fighter." go to
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>> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with kirstie alley, dave salmoni and his animals and music from tyler alley, dave salmoni and his animals and music from tyler bryant and the shakedown. sudden loss of video game dexterity? slim jim can help. slim jims are packed full of important bro-lectrolytes gamers need. and they also come with a code that unlocks in-game content from the latest ea games like "medal of honor warfighter" and "need for speed most wanted." every code wins! [ click ] [ male announcer ] grab a slim jim. enter the code and get in-game content from the latest ea games. enter the code and get in-game content ♪ classical music playing ♪ classical music playing
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kirstie alley. dave salmoni. and music from tyler bryant and the shakedown. with cleto and the cletones. and now, heading this way, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola. thank you very much. well, that's very nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. it's raining in hollywood.
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appreciate you guys waiting outside. we have a fun show for you tonight. kirstie alley is here with us tonight. dave salmoni is here with animals tonight. there's dave. backstage with -- dave, what is that? is that a cheetah? >> no, this is a jaguar. spotted jaguar named rosie. >> jimmy: named rosie? >> she's so sweet. >> jimmy: wow. that looks terrifying. i have -- >> she's perfect. >> jimmy: please don't bring that animal out. >> i won't bring her out but lots of good friends. >> jimmy: i like dave but he's a little too relaxed with the animals. i'm not an animal trainer. i don't -- that's how people get eaten. that's what happened to either siegfried or roy, whichever one. i can't remember which. dave brought a baby kangaroo tonight. he brought a baby zebra. a baby lemur and a screaming hairy about rm dill lo. sounds like something off the tgi-fridays menu. it's an arm dill low that
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screams. we have that to look forward to. is everyone glad the election is over? [ cheers and applause ] did everyone know the election is over? [ laughter ] i always wonder what the day after the election is like for the candidate who loses. you get so close to becoming the most powerful person in the world and just like that, you wake up, you hope to get a call from "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] "inside edition," the show, got a photo inside the romney family hotel room, and what do you make of that? >> here's romney, the morning after defeat, in his boston hotel room, surrounded by his children and grandchildren. that's a gallon of chocolate milk on the table. >> jimmy: someone's on a serious bender. it starts with the quick, next thing you know, you're snorting jolly ranchers and then -- this is kind of embarrassing. on tuesday night, someone on romney's staff accidentally uploaded a victory website that was supposed to go up in romney had won. this is what the home page looked like.
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you can see mitt doing his best put me on mt. rushmore face. the site was taken done quickly but the damage was done. i likethe part that says "smaller, simpler, smaller." it's catchy. just about every local news channel in the country was stationed outside a polling place on tuesday. this is from our abc affiliate in baton rouge. they were set up inside an elementary school where they met a young woman named say city jones who gave what might be my favorite answer to any question ever. >> it's very important. very important that we vote. it is crucial. i can't stress that, it's very, very crucial that we get out and vote. >> what race are you most interested in? >> black. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i -- oh, never mind. [ applause ] episode of "family feud."
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we would have also accepted "human." even though the election has been over for two full days, the state of florida still doesn't know who they voted for. four counties in florida were still counting today. it's important that they get all of the votes counted because the numbers could drastically affect the outcome of this election in no way whatsoever. no one is exactly sure why it's taking florida so long. so, earlier today, the nba affiliate in orlando checked in on local election volunteers. >> several hours after the polls closed, the vote counters were still here counting. right now, they tell me they have 10,000 to go, as about 12:00 last night. and they're hoping to get that all wrapped up before they go home. >> is this romney or obama? >> what? >> romney or obama? >> ramada? >> is this a dot? >> what? >> a dot? >> oh, just give it to obama.
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>> what? >> jimmy: so, you can see, i'm sure they'll have it all sorted out by christmas. [ applause ] or hanukkah, whichever. this is kind of funny. a woman in kenya gave birth to two boys on tuesday and in honor of the election, she named them barack obama and mitt romney. i don't know which is which, but -- after all this, it turns out mitt romney was born in kenya, too. how about that? evidently, there are quite a few kids named after obama in enken, but i assume this is the first mitt romney. the mom said she can see the personal tills. baby romney refuses to breast feed, because he doesn't believe in taking handouts. "business week" magazine has an interesting cover planned for next week. they digitally aged president obama's face to show what they think i'll look like at the end of the second term. and you can see they did a
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really great job. they used christmas free flocking. apparently the president will turn into morgan freeman by the end of his second term. they had a cover featuring an aged mitt romney ready to go in the event he won on tuesday. this is what they believe 69-year-old president mitt romney would have looked like. [ laughter ] he won't -- he won't release his tax returns but he will release the hounds. [ laughter ] two of the most talked about ballot niche tichs that passed on tuesday were the initiatives that legalized the recreational use of marijuana in colorado and washington. stoners in both states have been trying to get this going for a long time. and a lot of people are surprised that it finally happened. but i think i know why. it through an exceptionally persuasive ad running in both states. i had not seen this until today. we tracked it down online. look at this. whatever side of this issue you are on, it makes a very good point.
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>> keeping marijuana illegal wastes hundreds of millions of dollars a year. keeps cops from pursuing real crimes. there is a better way. it's time to legalize marijuana. paid for by doritos fiery fusion tortilla chips. >> jimmy: a lot of orange fingers. [ applause ] this is good. this is really good. jermaine jackson, jermaine jackson, the older brother of michael jackson, filed a petition with the l.a. county superior court this week to change his last name. he wants to legally change his last name from j-a-c-k-s-o-n, to jacksun. j-a-c-k-s-u-n. in the petition, jermaine said he wants to make the change for artistic reasons.
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apparently the "o" has been holding him back. keep in mind, this is a man who named his son jer majesty. his son's name is jer majesty. and jackson's the name he wants to change. we really need to get him on the show. [ laughter ] meanwhile, janet jackson has announced you can continue to call her janet or miss jackson if you're nasty. walmart made a depressing announcement today. walmart says they will open that dires for their black friday sale, where everyone goes and kills each other, they're going to open two hours earlier than last year, which means sales will begin at 8:00 p.m. on thanksgiving. i think that's great. why spend thanksgiving bonding with your family when you can fight a stranger for an xbox at a walmart? it's -- [ applause ] realize that maybe not next year but pretty soon we'll all just be eating thanksgiving dinner at walmart. [ laughter ]
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one more thing. if you watch this show with any kind of regularity, you know we do little commercials before the show starts. we call them integrations. usually they star guillermo or me, sometimes both of us. buevery once in awhile, we use my aunt chippy. she works here at the show but she doesn't really like to work here at the show. she likes to be paid and left alone. so -- we decided to pull a little prank on her. we told my aunt chip ppy she's starring in an ad for a new video game and she needed to get into one of the motion capture suits. and once weapon had her in the suit, that's when the fun began to begin. >> nobody will be forgiven for this. nobody. >> we're putting you into a video game. so, you need to imagine that that tennis ball is a little bird. your first line is, "come on, pin pinky, let's play mninja bird battle from light box." >> come on, pinky!
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let's go play bingo bango from light box. >> cut, cut. >> is it so hard for you to get somebody to write it on a big piece of board and i'll get it right and we'll get it over with? >> okay, here we go. so you can look at the cue cards this time. ready? >> are you [ bleep ] kidding me? you think you can read that? dress me like a freaking moron. >> you can imagine you are being shot by laser beam. action! imagine chippy, imagine! i don't think you're imagining those beams. we're going to throw balls at you that you can really dodge. >> you're going to throw those hard balls at me? >> you know, the audience is not going to see them so if it hurts, it doesn't matter. >> i'm some day going to beat the [ bleep ] out of you on national television live. >> action!
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>> gobble, gobble, gobble! gobble! >> cut, cut. i don't believe the gobbles at all. >> you got what you got. i'm sorry. >> battling tur keys? >> you got the wrong person for this job. tell jimmy to go [ bleep ] himself, get his mother to do this. she can gobble gobble with the turkey because i cannot do it. >> here are some lines that the client wants, okay? >> ninja birds, get you on your feet! bing, zing! [ bleep ] you and you and i'm done. >> no, no, no, we're not done. >> where the [ bleep ] does this game end? when does the game end, when i die? >> if you just do it right, we would get out of here faster. >> you know, i don't like your attitude. >> action! >> ninja bird, get you on your feet and sometimes in the air! ah, too high! too high! son of a bitch.
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>> we have to go. time's running out. >> time's running out? what's our last line? >> join the complete world of ninja bobble turkish bath, whatever the hell it is, get me out of here. >> we got to wrap. we got to wrap it. >> wrap. >> what? >> wrap. >> one more really fast. really fast. here we go. >> join interactive world of -- >> wait, cut, wait. people are walking in front of the camera. you can't walk -- >> hey, wait a minute. wait a minute! wait a minute, they're leaving me up here. you son of a bitch. >> we have to go. >> no! >> oh, my god. oh, my god. jimmy, i hope you burn your -- freaking balls in hell. help! son of a bitch get me out! >> new from light box. >> come on, pinky. >> blast off for adventure. fight alien turkeys. >> gobble, gobble. >> go on a deep sea adventure.
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>> what the hell was i supposed to say? >> and fly to distance planets. >> ahh! >> the completely made up interactive world of ninja bird bongol battle. never coming to any game platform ever. >> jimmy: well, thank you. angriest bird of all. thank you, aunt chippy, very well done. tonight on the show, dave sallowny and his animals are here. we have music from tyler bryant and the shakedown. and we'll be right back with kirstie alley, so stick around. ok guys, this kick is for the win. labels out. [ fan 2 ] here we go. wait, what? our proximity to the field, creates a parallel connection between the bottle and the ball. the outward facing label simulates a smoother contact surface for the kicker.
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it's like magic. only real. really? yeah. [ whistle blows ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] bud light. for the fans who do whatever it takes. the new wii u and a nintendo 3ds xl. but i got a "christmas sweater and socks" kinda budget. well with our walmart credit card special financing, you can get them all. oh, that'd be a win-win situation! no wait, i win too, so that's like a win-win-win!
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that is a lot of winning. can't you see my name in christmas lights? super-shopper! i can see it! [ male announcer ] get the season's hottest brands like nintendo 3ds xl and wii u. make an electronics purchase of $429 or more on your walmart credit card and get no interest if paid in full within 18 months. america's gift headquarters. walmart. the freshenator. the buddy system. the do si go. the two-handed tango. el cleaño. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. try it. then name it. than the cottonelle care routine. bye! bye girls, love you. daddy, we made you a video for your trip! yeah, watch it on the airplane! ok here you go. aw, thanks girls. yeah hey. i also made you a video. aw, that's so sweet. you probably shouldn't watch it on the plane. say bye to daddy! bye girls! bye! vo: share videos instantly on the samsung galaxy s3. amber, brown and black.
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exclusively on verizon.
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>> jimmy: well, hello there.
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and welcome back. tonight on the program, his new show, "frontier earth," premieres tuesday on animal planet. dave salmoni is here with a menagerie of wild baby animals. they are very cute and also deadly. so i am not looking forward to that. and then, with music from this album that comes out january 22nd, it's called "wild child," tyler bryant and the shakedown, from the bud light stage. january 22nd? and there's no album in it, so maybe it's not done yet. i don't know what's going on here. and, we have a new show for you tomorrow night. we usually don't, but we do, we'll be joined by 007 himself, daniel craig will be here. the author of the "twilight" books, stephenie meyer will join us and music from boys like girls. our first guest is an emmy and goalen globe-winning dancing star. her new memoir is called "the art of men." please welcome kirstie alley. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: very good to see you. you have never been here before, which is kind of crazy. you've been in the abc family, with all the celebrity dancing you've been doing and what not. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how are things on "dancing with the stars"? >> they're rough. >> jimmy: why are they rough? >> well, the first season i did it, people of comparable magnitude to my dancing skills. and this time, it is sort of like a dancing olympics. >> jimmy: the all-star season. >> yeah, it's crazy. but one thing that's funny is that i know that, i mean, you watch your show all the time, obviously, and i see that you have -- you like to name who the winner is going to be. >> jimmy: i prognosticate, yeah. >> and you pretty much didn't choose me, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, i didn't. >> no. >> jimmy: i chose gilles. >> i don't even care who you chose.
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i was just wondering if i can do anything to change your mind. >> jimmy: yeah. there are a lot of things we can do to change my mind. >> all right, good. i'm game. i'm game. >> jimmy: understand, i am known as nostra-dance-mus. i must not let my personal opinions affect whom i pick to win. and i've done very well. i really have done very well. >> really? what's your percentage? >> jimmy: i'm a little over -- i'm at 60%. and that's -- i picked before the season starts. it's an unbelievable record. >> if you were in vegas and you were over 60%, you would have made 10% on your million? >> jimmy: no, no. >> over the years -- >> jimmy: well, maybe made a little bit more than that, because -- >> really? >> jimmy: a lot more. it's not even money. it's like 8 to 1. >> i want the mirror ball. i'm going to get it. i don't know how. >> jimmy: i will be happy for you if you do get it but i will be happy for me if gilles gets it. >> you who. you are tough. >> jimmy: i am. well, listen, money is money.
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there's knock you can do about it. this is some book that you have here. you have written some stories about all the men in your life, including, there's crazy stuff about your little brother, to start with. >> oh, yeah. my brother is -- my brother was one of those kids that was really little for his age, you know? he started kindergarten at 4 and he was more like 2. so, i'm not saying he was stupid then, but he was totally stupid. [ laughter ] and what i used to do with my brother, i found that if i brought girls, this is when we were 7 and he was about 4. if i brought girls to my bedroom and i showed them his weiner, i charged 15 cents. and they would give me a dime and a nickel. and i would say, craig, my brother, you get the big coin. [ laughter ] and he was like, whoa! he got the big percentage. but you could -- we ran out of neighbors. >> jimmy: what a thing to do. neighbors?
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>> they saw it once, they weren't that impressed. he was 4. it was a good run. that week was good. >> jimmy: i guess so. how did your brother turn out? did he -- >> well, my brother turned out -- let's see. my brother turned out as a bit of a pyro. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> i think it was about 15, i was at a friend's house spending the night. my sister called and my sister sort of hated my guts, and she went, did you just set fire to the house? i was like, no, i'm at beck kip's house. did you leave the iron on? i go, why are you asking me this? he said, because, the house is on fire and the fire detective said someone stashlted it intentionally. i was like, i did not leave the iron on intentionally. i was flipping out. i thought, did i leave the iron on? i was ironing my sister's shirt because i was stealing it to wear it. i thought i was going to be in prison. well, it turns out my brother was afraid to stay alone. my parents had gone out, he was afraid to stay alone so he
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decided he would go up in the attic, start a small smoldering, just smoldering bit, call the neighbors, oh, my god, i smell smoke. the neighbors would go over, we don't know how this little thing started. and then they would say, come to our house! so, then he wouldn't be alone. so, he goes up in the attic, got the dog under his arm -- he set the house on fire. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. and then my sister decides not to tell me that it was my brother that set the house on fire until the next day. >> jimmy: oh, wow. you really got them back with wi this book. >> i -- yes. my sweet -- my brother is very sweet. >> jimmy: i would hope. you've been so kind to him. i can see why. >> he's much smarter now. >> jimmy: you also, one -- i think probably the thing that has received the most attention is, you talk about two love affairs with two famous men. one of them being patrick swayze, one of them being john that voeal. >> can i just clarify?
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they were not sexual affairs. >> jimmy: that's the part i'm curl use about. >> i'm a little curious about that myself. >> jimmy: how do you have a nonsexual affair with someone? >> i didn't say the word affair, ever. someone interviewed me and then they -- >> jimmy: you charged them to see their penises? >> i did. but they were a lot smarter and they took the dime. no, i did not -- it wasn't sexual. it was -- you know, john travolta is and has remained one of my best friends for almost 25 years, 26 years. >> jimmy: this is before he was married to kelly preston. >> i was married. i fell in love with him. >> jimmy: while you were making "look who's talking." did you fall in love with each other? >> i would say it was even steven. and, you know, that's not a good thing to do. the only good part of it is, i didn't turn it into a sexual relationship, which is really good because for me, you know, if i have sex with someone, i have to marry them. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> i don't know.
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my mother told me i would be a whore if i didn't marry someone i had sex with, so, i was trying not to be a whore. the great thing about john is, we -- it's evolved into the most brilliant friendship, his wife is my webest friend. >> jimmy: she must love this book. >> i think she's going to like it and, patrick, i loved, but it wasn't sexual. >> jimmy: she hasn't read it yet? >> no one. >> jimmy: you talk about her husband being the love -- >> because it evolved. you -- i'm not friends with my exes. i don't know about y'all, but i'm not. >> jimmy: you're not going to be friend's with john's wife soon, either. >> they gave me their blessing, write the story. >> jimmy: you asked before hand. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they know this whole deal? >> i never cheated on my husband. but i think what i did was even a little bit worse because i think -- honestly, i think when you are on location, you know, it's hard when you're an actor and gone for four -- imagine yourself. i don't know who the guy of your dreams is, i don't know, say it's brad pitt.
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>> jimmy: it's john travolta for me. >> let's say it's ryan gosling and you go away and you make a movie with him for four to six months and you are with him all day and all night and you make out with him in the movie. it's a little hard not to confuse the boundaries. i'm not justifying it. i sort of am, but i'm just saying. >> jimmy: is your ex-husband angry now that he knows about this stuff? >> i told him everything. i told him everything as we went along. >> jimmy: this is bizarre. >> i can't believe. he hit me with a towel one day. >> jimmy: he did? >> yes, he did. >> jimmy: like a snap? >> no, like, bam. and i went down with a towel and i was like, oh, my god, should i dramatize being an ape abused woman? i thought, i don't think so. i think, a, it was a towel, and be, if it was me and it was reversed, i would have kicked the [ bleep ] out of him, so -- anyway. >> jimmy: okay. yeah. [ applause ] that's fair. wow. >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: and in patrick swayze, the same thing. you did not consummate your love -- >> no, it wasn't like that. >> jimmy: i don't understand this. it doesn't make sense. >> because i don't think -- because i believe that you -- once you have sex with somebody just -- i thank god i'm not that girl. and i wrote this story because it was about men who influenced my life and that i had, that i really loved deeply, but i had to make choices. i'm proud of us. we chose not to. >> jimmy: i can understand that. it's just -- it happening part, it not happening part is the part -- >> what don't you understand? >> jimmy: you have married every man you've had sex with? i mean, that's not -- >> not exactly. but i wasn't having sex with them when i was married or if they were married. i never had sex with a married man or me when i was married. >> jimmy: you did not continue with the relationship, you didn't say, hey, i'm breaking up with my husband. so, maybe you weren't really in love with them. >> that's what i'm saying. when you are on a set for six
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months, and -- >> jimmy: hollywood love. >> the lines get blurred. stars get divorces every day because they don't have sex, jimmy. >> jimmy: do you fall in love with your dance partners on "dancing with the stars"? >> yes, i do, jimmy. >> jimmy: really. are you falling in love with me right now? is it possible? maybe you are falling in love with guillermo? >> i am falling in love with you. but we can't have sex! because i don't want to be a whore! [ applause ] >> jimmy: well -- not the first time i've heard that. this is -- will you stay out for, when dave comes out with the animals? >> boy will i! that's why i'm here, jimmy. >> jimmy: you have lemurs at your house. >> i have 14 lemurs. >> jimmy: you are going to fall in love with dave. >> my lemurs are in my will. i left my house to my lemurs, if my kids take care of them, they get to live in the house. >> jimmy: what is going on? kirstie alley is here, it's all in the book, you must read it. it's called "the art of men." and of course "dancing with the stars" airs here on abc.
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we'll be right back with kirstie and dave salmoni. ♪
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>> jimmy: we are back. tyler bryant and the shakedown still to come. kirstie alley is with us. the reason we are being a little bit quiet is because we have animals backstage right now. whenever our next guest comes to the show, he insists upon bringing animals. i would like him to bring
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cupcakes instead. but he doesn't. his new show, "frontier earth," premieres november 134th on animal planet. please welcome the canadian tarzan, dave salmoni. hey, dave. we don't need to shake. >> a little shake. >> jimmy: i know it's not a good shake. you are carrying a terrifying animal. >> look at how cute she is. come on. >> jimmy: she is cute but she wants already is coming at me. >> hide that little green bone you got there. you have to hide it in your pocket. >> jimmy: not putting it in my pocket. i'll put it over here, though. >> that's her special treat. >> jimmy: what do we have here? >> this is a black jaguar. the one thing you may not see, she actually has those rosettes -- >> jimmy: what is that? >> the spots. they're shaped like roses, so they call them rosettes. >> jimmy: all right. i do see the spots. >> do you see them? in the sunlight, they are really bright. >> jimmy: how old is this animal? >> 4 months. do you want to put him on your lap? >> jimmy: no, i don't want to.
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you know i don't want to put him on my lap. >> you know what i'm going to do. >> jimmy: they make cars out of these, right. >> i'm going to put him here. he likes to be up nice and tall. >> jimmy: he is kind of cute. >> give him a pat pat. don't give him the lemur treat. his body is saying, i'm confident, but a little nervous. snitching everybody, snitching the band. so, it's a great -- you have to really, like, a big cat. >> jimmy: right. >> it's not a bird. >> jimmy: not like she's paying me or anything. >> i love to tell people, these guys are the strongest bite for their size of any cat. >> jimmy: great, thank you. >> it's a great time to tell you that. >> jimmy: wow, okay, and so this is -- how big will this animal get? >> this is a female. maybe 170 pounds. maybe double almost triple in her size. male will get over 200 pounds and they are the stocky ones, the big square head, big square bum. >> jimmy: what do they eat? >> anything they can get their
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hands on. [ laughter ] they eat -- do you remember what a cap by berra is? biggest rodent in the world? they love those things. they will go after an anaconda, anything -- >> jimmy: like a cat would grab a house, this giant cat will grab a giant rodent. >> this is not the natural state. they are usually that tawny color. this is a recessive gene, so, this isn't normal. normally jaguars look like a leopard. they are yellowish brownish with the big black spots. this is very unique. >> jimmy: seems like she wants to go. >> getting more confident. the more confident you get, sitting up. >> jimmy: i thought this was a female. >> oh, she. >> jimmy: that's what worries me. you don't know what's going on with these animals. >> i do. i know exactly. >> jimmy: this snack is for the animal? >> yeah. if she was to get worked up, i would give it to her. momma's here. there you go.
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>> jimmy: thank you, all right. it's great to see you. what do we have next here? >> we got another guy coming in. now, i'm going to get off my chair a little bit. so, treatments, this is my good buddy. hi, buddy. >> jimmy: this is what kirstie has. how many lemurs do you have? >> i have 14. >> jimmy: 14? >> okay, come on. >> jimmy: do they live in your house? >> i have a big compound for them. i have these and ross lemurs. >> they're fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why are they fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have a whole bowl. >> get a treat, put the whole bowl over there. bowl over there, now hold it up by your hand like kirstie is doing. >> jimmy: do they bite? >> no. yeah, a little bit. >> jimmy: whoa! >> give him the treat. give him the treat. you're totally fine. get a grape. >> jimmy: i'm not getting a grape! >> get a grape!
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>> jimmy: you tricked me. >> come here. come on, buddy. >>jimmy: oh, my god. that is a terrible thing to do. >> there you go. now, i see -- >> jimmy: don't act like nothing happened. >> maybe you won't be a lemur trainer. >> jimmy: did you know that was going to happen? >> i did it on purpose. >> jimmy: why would you do that? >> because i thought you wanted -- >> jimmy: you've broken the bond of trust. >> i was trying to help. >> she's nervous. >> jimmy: you were trying to help. that was not helpful, dave. >> what i was trying to do is -- i know you are nervous, i want you to fall in love with animals. ing that wi ing. >> jimmy: that will do it, having them leap on my neck. >> what they like to do is get high in a tree. >> jimmy: that's fun. get high in a tree. >> get nice and high up in the air. >> jimmy: oh -- that was really great. >> i got another real special animal. >> jimmy: i wet myself. >> i promise not to put this one on your shoulder.
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>> jimmy: good, all right. this i can handle. that's cute. >> there we go. thank you so much. >> jimmy: baby zebra not going to jump on my face. it looks almost like a giraffe. is that part giraffe? >> no. all right. watch your back, all right. good girl. >> jimmy: watch out. that thing will kick somebody right in the head. >> going to let him have a little quick time-out because he is a baby and seeing everything for the first time. >> jimmy: not used to performing in front of studio audience? kirstie, do you have these? >> i'll talk from a distance -- >> jimmy: just stay there. >> the one thing about these, because they are -- they look like a horse, they are a little bit nor nervous than a horse. the other cool thing, because they are used to hanging out in africa where the lions and things are -- >> jimmy: eat them. >> these guys are so used to being hunted, they are the ones that have an eye out for everything.
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so, you always look for these guys. when they get scared, you know there's a predator around. >> jimmy: whoa, hey. >> i'm sorry. let's move up a little bit. >> jimmy: what is this one, male or female? >> this is a male. good boy, come on. good boy. up, little spin. okay. >> jimmy: can you ride it? >> you could. not this guy, obviously, he's so young. okay, okay, we're going to let him go. come on, little guy. >> jimmy: let's just talk about something else. >> i actually want to tell you about my new show. >> jimmy: tell us about the show. oh, my god. what the hell is that? >> before i do that. >> oh, my god. so cute. >> jimmy: we have -- i won't -- this won't jump on you, won't hit you. just stick your hands out, hold him just like that. >> jimmy: hold him? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: okay. oh, it feels sharp. >> it's because they dig. those claws are for digging holes. they are big diggers. they like to go after bugs. they will dig through the bark. >> jimmy: this is the hairy screaming -- why aren't they
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screaming? >> we have a guy that's very confident -- >> jimmy: me? >> you're not screaming. you screamed a little with the lemur. >> jimmy: yeah. he's hurting me. >> okay, okay. would you like to be the armadillo wrangler? it seems kirstie is definitely the wrangler. >> jimmy: tell us about the show. >> "frontier earth" is a natural history show. it's -- it's a look into specific subjects that are near to my heart. so, we have tigers, we have whales, we have -- >> jimmy: fighting? >> fighting a lot. what it is, like a classic look, so, we take a subject that i find very interesting and we look, so, we're hoping to entertain you by showing you this part of a natural world, but also educate a little bit. >> jimmy: and you focus on one animal at a time? >> the idea is, in my mind, i'm trying to teach people conservation. by exposing people to the different natural wonders of the world, they then are going to fall -- >> jimmy: look what's happening there -- >> i don't want to make him
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nervous. >> put him down, feet down, like that. you got him. >> you're fine. >> jimmy: now this is cute. >> all right. >> jimmy: is this our final animal? >> this is our final animal. >> jimmy: kirstie -- >> i want to hold that. >> swap them over in a minute. i want jimmy to hold this one like a baby first. >> jimmy: don't these punch you in the face and stuff? >> bug toe there? that's their big weapon. they can cut you wide open. >> jimmy: why do you say these things once i have the animal in my arms? >> pull it down. this guy is only four months, he world normally be in a pouch so he's -- >> he doesn't want to be on me anymore. >> you all right? >> i think he wants to move somewhere. >> jimmy: dig around on the floor. >> this is actually way easier for me, i think i'll sit back. >> jimmy: you want to hold the kangaroo? >> i'll take this.
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>> he wants to go somewhere. >> jimmy: that's a weird place to put him. >> i'll take that. kirstie, take that. >> jimmy: something we ghoent abo don't know about, dave? and all these animals, you can eat them? >> no. i'm trying to tell people, they don't make good pets. they look super cute. they are not food and they don't make good pets. >> jimmy: that's a good looking animal there. well, that's cute. very good. well, we -- you know what, i look forward to watching your show because i don't have to be in it and apart of it. >> nothing will jump on you. there are lemurs on "frontier earth" that are really fun. silky -- that are the biggest -- >> jimmy: i think we're going to have to bleep that out. thank you so much, dave salmoni, his new show is called "frontier earth," premieres this tuesday, november 13th, at 8:00. thanks to dave salmoni, thanks to kirstie alley, as well.
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we'll be right back with tyler bryant and the shakedown. ♪ [ female announcer ] he could be the one. soulmate. husband. loving father to your children. but first you've got to get him to say, "hello." new crest 3d white arctic fresh toothpaste. use it with these 3d white products, and whiten your teeth in just 2 days. what will a 3d white smile do for you? new crest 3d white toothpaste. life opens up when you do. new crest 3d white toothpaste.
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>> jimmy: my jacket is covered with lemur crap. this is their album, it's called "wild child." here with the song "last one leaving," tyler bryant and the shakedown. ♪
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♪ cold sweat fever even if you don't need her she'll make you a believer when she comes in ♪ ♪ shaking like woah oh oh oh woah oh oh oh ♪ ♪ won't see it coming you won't start running and once she's gone and done it ♪ ♪ you know you'll never say no oh oh oh no oh oh oh ♪ ♪ i'm down and don't want up woah oh oh oh she's here for the wrong reasons ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i'll be the last one leaving ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh she's here for the wrong reasons ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i'll be the last one leaving ♪ ♪ watch her work her magic she'll leave you feeling tragic ♪ ♪ have you itching like an addict just begging for a hit singing ♪ ♪ where did she go
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where did she go ♪ ♪ i'm down and i don't want up woah oh oh oh she's here for the wrong reasons ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i'll be the last one leaving ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh she's here for the wrong reasons ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i'll be the last one leaving ♪ ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh she's here for the wrong reasons ♪
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♪ woah oh oh oh i'll be the last one leaving ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh she's here for the wrong reasons ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i'll be the last one leaving ♪ ♪ the last one leaving yeah, i'm the last one leaving ♪ ♪ ♪
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